Author: Kate
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When in alignment, look for a sign from above
I went to Sweat Lodge today. It has been calling to me for a while. This one in particular I needed to wait to see if my Moon Time passed. Separately I am trying to encourage my Moon Time to come earlier this month so that I can be free to go deep in my… Read more
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An Amalgamation of Self
I had therapy today. My first session in a few weeks. It was very much overdue. Could have used this type of energy release on Tuesday. Though maybe everything happens for a reason and this is perfect timing. My first session in a while, so naturally there is a lot to catch up on. It… Read more
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98% of the battle is showing up
I attempted another day of an Ideal Day. It was a much gentler start up. Sleep still evades me, which causes its own problems. Restless in the night, plus not wanting to go to bed when night falls. This consistent pattern of writing the same thing over and over again helps me to recognise my… Read more
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Breaking my own heart
My heart feels like it is breaking apart. A kaleidoscope of my fragmented memories with a cocktail mixture of feelings poured over it. Trying to make sense of how all the pieces fit together. The shame that glues the pieces of my broken heart back together is melting very quickly. Too quickly to keep up… Read more
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Forgivenes is…
“Forgiveness is to release the anger for someone or something” as Mister Rogers said in It’s a Lovely Day in the Neighbourhood. I didn’t rate the movie, sorry, but I did like that quote. Today was a very slow day. I found myself flying solo in the afternoon. Friends had invited me over for dinner… Read more
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I decided to just forgive
I decided to just forgive tonight. A huge blockage in my path to healing. Fuck it. I’ll try anything, ya know. There is nothing I won’t do to help myself. I sat on the back porch tonight, having my Mapacho. I reflected on where I am at. I was rehearsing what I would share for… Read more
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Today was horrendous
My Dad said this to me when we walked in the door of our hotel room, well past our bedtime, at about 10.30pm. “Today was horrendous” he reckons. It stopped me in my tracks, like a comment like that normally would. Only this time the tension was broken, surprisingly, by my own laughter. His defences… Read more
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I was told, with almost certainty, this part of the trip would not be good for my plant medicine. I didn’t listen and now I am paying the price. I regret saying yes to this portion of the trip. This environment is not conducive for my goals. My attitude, or lack of, is a culmination… Read more
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A birthday celebration amongst old growth wisdom
Was on my way to Dreamland and decided to get up to record just a little something. I do envision showing up every day for myself will pay off in spades. How or when is yet to be seen. This is my form of art. It is very young and yet to be developed. I… Read more
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Love is the medicine
I swear one of these days I won’t be suffering from exhaustion. I am so tired, I don’t want to do this tonight. I know I will regret it if I don’t though. Today was another jam packed day, no time for rest. My Mum patting me on the back while I laid curled up… Read more
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Tears (of laughter) stream down your face
Exhausted again. I keep riding this wave of extreme tiredness. Busy days, with no time to nap or chill. Sleepless nights of disturbed sleep again. Short post of today’s highlights: Lots of love, Kate Read more
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Love is contagious
I have this weird type of anxiety lately. I worked out late tonight the anxiety comes from the overwhelming feeling of love I am feeling at the moment. My nails I have grown in the last few weeks are beginning to be chewed again. A sign of sinking back down to the level that is… Read more
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Getting comfy being uncomfy
It’s really late and I don’t want to be doing this. It feels significant. It’s going really well with my parents. Is it just me that’s different? I set up my bedroom for my parents to sleep. A few months ago I set up an alter of love for myself. Many mementos, an ode to… Read more
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I grew a little bit taller today
I got to talk to my Mum how I wanted to this morning. While making my plant medicine brew, I asked her if she would like to smell it. She accepted my invitation and asked me what it was like, if it had helped me. I can safely assume all of this is so strange… Read more
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I reach to the sky, and call on your name
Today was another fantastic day spent with my parents. I was too tired to be truly present with what was happening until we had a moment to stop. I needed a sleep to recoup, and it was only 20 minutes of rest. True exhaustion. We went to a Banksy exhibit which my Mum was really… Read more
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The kids are alright
Today was perfect. The Little Girl in me could feel the love from my parents. I hadn’t really decided as such, coz I hadn’t thought about it. I just showed up exactly as I am, and was met with so much love. In my current form, this is a huge achievement for me. Because I… Read more
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Change happens ever so slightly
Change happens ever so slightly, you don’t even notice it’s happening, and then, all of a sudden, it happens all at once. Then you wake up one day, and things are noticeably different. Hey Presto! Butter Bing, Butter Boom!! Like magic. Except crediting it to magic takes away the value of your efforts to get… Read more
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Exactly what the doctor ordered
Another day feeling depleted. Another day giving it all I had. Today was definitely on my list for highlights of the year. It was the right mix of chill and activities. An island hopping adventure to this newly developed property. Pay $30 each for 2 hours of sauna, cold plunging and hot tubbing. Time went… Read more
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Boy Swallows Universe
Before he wrote anything, the novel was a headline in the journo’s mind: Boy swallows universe. When those three words came to him, he was electrically charged by them. “It is essentially a way I have honestly tried to approach life: Just take it in. Don’t just write about one thing, take it all in.… Read more
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Please come back
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Worst day of my life
I guess love isn’t enough, not even close. Can someone die of a broken heart? Asking for a friend. Read more
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Piece by piece
“You know the great thing though, is that change can be so constant that you don’t even feel the difference, until there is one. It can be so slow, that you don’t know that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an… Read more
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I am doing well and I am very depressed
Two things can be true at the same time: I am doing well, and I am very depressed. It felt really good to admit that today and say it out loud. I have made a lot of progress in the last few weeks, even though it doesn’t feel like that in my day to day.… Read more
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The hardest I have laughed in a long time
Today was a good day. I woke up at 6am, bright and ready for the day. I only went to bed at 1am and so cut myself a break, made my plant medicine and then went back to sleep. After all, my plant medicine works best when I am sleeping. I did have some sort… Read more
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7 years of missing you
Today is the anniversary of my Grandma’s death. I miss her all the time. I keep asking the heavens for a sign that she is with me, and it feels very silent from up there. My Grandma was my maternal figure in life. It hurts to write that, as I know that statement will hurt… Read more