Tag: love
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15 minutes of grief
I gave the idea of 15 minutes of grief to a friend recently. Today when I woke up, I was everywhere at the same time. As I followed my thoughts through the chaos maze, I found myself staring at my own words: 15 minutes of grief. The thing with me is I don’t often take… Read more
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You do not have to carry this
This morning I went to a sober dance meet with a friend for their birthday. It was my first time there. I have wanted to go for so long, but the resistance in my to good things has always stopped me. I made a card before I went. A practice of giving love with no… Read more
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All I need is love
Last night was interesting, confusing and when I woke this morning I couldn’t remember anything from the night before, except the last experience. I could remember a Being coming to visit me when I was back inside the house in the aircon. I had said repeatedly ‘I am not done yet’. So I was both… Read more
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Love is contagious
I have this weird type of anxiety lately. I worked out late tonight the anxiety comes from the overwhelming feeling of love I am feeling at the moment. My nails I have grown in the last few weeks are beginning to be chewed again. A sign of sinking back down to the level that is… Read more
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Getting comfy being uncomfy
It’s really late and I don’t want to be doing this. It feels significant. It’s going really well with my parents. Is it just me that’s different? I set up my bedroom for my parents to sleep. A few months ago I set up an alter of love for myself. Many mementos, an ode to… Read more
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I reach to the sky, and call on your name
Today was another fantastic day spent with my parents. I was too tired to be truly present with what was happening until we had a moment to stop. I needed a sleep to recoup, and it was only 20 minutes of rest. True exhaustion. We went to a Banksy exhibit which my Mum was really… Read more
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7 years of missing you
Today is the anniversary of my Grandma’s death. I miss her all the time. I keep asking the heavens for a sign that she is with me, and it feels very silent from up there. My Grandma was my maternal figure in life. It hurts to write that, as I know that statement will hurt… Read more
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Oh, I’ve dealt with that. Moving on:
Whenever someone says to me ‘Oh, I’ve dealt with that’ I don’t believe them. I’ve said that to myself many times and the further I get down the road on this healing journey, the most I realise I have not dealt with it either. The statement isn’t a lie. We have dealt with things as… Read more
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I stopped believing in Heaven at 8 years old
I stopped believing in Heaven at 8 years old. While I was at it, I threw God out of the realm of possibilities as well. When my Grandad died, I stopped a lot of things. I stopped my tears from falling. I stopped caring about myself. A distance grew between me and my parents. A… Read more