The feeling of completing a project is like no other. Well, it should be like no other. If you are anything like me though, nothing much changes. I expect relief and it does not come. If it does come, I certainly don’t notice it.

Today I took back my work computer to the office. No, I am not losing my job, yet. I really don’t know if I will have a job to go back to. I haven’t quite processed that so I will leave it until another time.

In order to return the laptop, for vital updates I was told, I needed to remove my personal files and clean up my folders and work files. What a job that was. I am sure if I was feeling better and operating at full capacity, it would have, could have taken about a day in total. Instead it took more than a week. It took all my strength and everything I had in me to complete this task.

I had my Worrier, the Doubter, the Impulsive One, and probably a host of others I can’t quite name yet. They were all trying to get me to do anything but the task at hand.

After it was complete, the drop off completed, I asked my Selves what they thought. The List Maker reminded me that I had about a zillion other things still to go. I asked politely if we could just focus on the task we had just complete and bask in that for awhile.

I liked the List Maker was inspired and ready to tackle more of the list, albeit with dread in her step. It’s so important to bask in the relief.

Truthfully I still haven’t got the relief, but I am dying to go to sleep, which usually I resist until dire straits.

First time watching Memento in my life, least I can remember. I think a lot of parts of me were listening and paying close attention. I wonder if what I have is called Amnesia.

Lots of love,

Kate